Ten Tips On How To Get Over a Heartbreak

Ten Tips On How To Get Over a Heartbreak.

Heartbreak is always a painful and sometimes a difficult thing to get over. When you are heartbroken you feel the load of the world is upon you.
Well here are some tips if you’re going through a break up or considering one at the moment.
1) GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO GRIEVE: You've been hurt so you need to cry it out, in some way. Its understandable to want to cry, so let yourself do it. Go ahead and think about it….the good times, the bad times, the ‘ok’ times. For the last time. Take time to decipher where things went wrong. Cry. Think. Yell. Think again. Cry again, if you need to.
But do this within reason and most importantly, literally give yourself a deadline- two days, three days, one week. But when the time is up, go on the next step.
2) MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION:  Remember you can’t get over something if you don’t decide/want to. If you’re still secretly wishing you get back together, you won’t be able to heal. If you’re still blaming yourself for things that you did wrong in the relationship, you can’t get over it. And if you’re still holding on to the good times, you would never get over it.
Its not easy but you can do it. You have to forgive yourself for anything you blame yourself for and accept the fact that the relationship is done. Having the “will” to get over it, is the first step to paving your “way” back to sanity. “Build a bridge, get over it, burn the bridge so you won’t be tempted to cross it again”
3) STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE WILL THINK: Stop wondering what you will say when people ask about him. Come up with a generic answer for when people (who aren’t close enough to her to deserve the full story) ask. For example, “we broke up o, things just didn’t pan out but it was for the best” or “it wasn’t working out but you know how these things go, we’re still cool”. Say something like that and change topic. Fast. You need to also need to resolve to handle it well if and when you run into him in a public place. “Things don’t have to be weird”, I told her “Be cordial, and keep it moving”. It worked.
4) TALK TO SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST OR WRITE DOWN FEELINGS: Find a way to vent. Its always best to unload on a friend who’s willing to listen. Just like Lola was doing with me that night. Sometimes, you don’t even need them to respond- just to listen. It’ll make you feel better. I also know a lot of people are uncomfortable discussing their feelings with others. If you’re that kind of person, I won’t bother trying to convince you otherwise. Instead, I’ll advise you to write down your feelings. You can even write a letter to your ex- things you wish you had said to him/her. FOR YOU and NOT FOR HIM/HER. DON’T SEND IT no matter how tempting the idea gets.
5) WRITE DOWN THE REASONS WHY THE RELATIONSHIP WAS FRUITFULNESS: Write down the reasons why the relationship was fruitless, then keep it if you can. When you start having second thoughts, you may need to re-read it to remind yourself of why you need to move on. Even when you’re in a rut, you’d be amazed at how clearly you can express the contours of the relationship and the positive lessons it has taught you. But you won’t see this ingenuity of yours, till you re-read with a clearer mind-set. The more your grief lessens, the more you’d learn from yourself
Regardless of whether you decide to vent to someone or write the feelings down, you should  surround yourself with positive people who love you and have your best interest at heart. Break-ups pave the way for feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, you need people around you to boost your self-esteem and get back to old/happy you. When they tell you its your ex’s loss, not yours and that you deserve better, its in your best interest to believe them. They’ll help you re-realize your worth.
6) MAINTAIN A GOOD DISTANCE FROM THE EX: At least in the beginning some people need to go all nine miles- delete the ex, and sometimes his/her friends as well, off all social media. Do what you need to do to keep your distance…and your sanity. No matter what you do, its never a good idea to call or text. No need to reminisce with your ex.
7) GET RID OF "EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS": All things that remind you of the ex- delete their pictures from your phone or if you can’t stomach that just yet, put them someplace where you don’t have easy access and tag it “history”. And STOP checking their Facebook profiles. Staring at their pictures or pictures of both of you will only set you back emotionally.
Remember once you have decided to get over it, you can’t second-guess your decision and opening yourself to your ex’s charm will only pull you back in. The truth is that whatever you don’t feed won’t grow- the only way to make the emotions go away is to starve them.
8) GET BUSY/REDEFINE YOURSELF:  This is as simple as the old rule that an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Keep your mind and body busy. Find a hobby and immerse yourself in it. Take the time to take a vacation you’ve been planning. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Exercise. Indulge. Read a book. Focus on making yourself better: look better, learn new things, impress yourself, remind yourself of your value…you’ll start to feel better. Remember, the best revenge is living a good life!
You can’t let a bad relationship/breakup change you. Truly redefining yourself requires keeping who you truly are or want to be. Changing because of your ex is giving them power…it means giving them indefinite control over your life.
9) NEVER LET YOURSELF FORGET WHY THE RELATIONSHIP ENDED: When a person shows you who they are, please believe them the first time. Remind yourself why you and the ex can’t get back together. If he hit you, who’s to say he won’t hit you again? If she cheated, how can you trust her again? If they showed you aren’t priority, what has changed? Learn your lesson.
The fear of the process of getting over the break-up is wayyyy scarier than actually doing it. Once you rediscover yourself void of your ex, you may even begin to wonder why you were heartbroken in the first place. Trust me, when you start to see things crystal clear, your relationship will start to play out in your head like a movie- you’d be experiencing it as a third party and you’d see things you never saw: little things will continue to add up.
More so, if you never forget why the relationship ended AND you truly learn what love should be, you will more easily recognize the same dreadful traits in the next person you date. A lot of people fall for the same kind of person and get heartbroken over and over and over again. That’s because they forget what they didn’t like about their previous relationship and continue in an endless cycle of pain and loss.